From my Tumblr:

I FEEL.

I feel happy.

I feel content.

I feel inspired.

I feel incredible.

I feel elated.

I feel joyful.

I feel. I feel. My God, my Savior, I FEEL ONCE AGAIN. I have no more words left to me to describe how incredible it is to be free at least a mite more from the bondage I felt.

The Atonement is real. Jesus Christ is real. He died that we may all be saved again and live with Him and His Father in Heaven.

I feel again. Oh it’s been too long. I can smile. I can cry. I can feel.

I feel a fool for a brief instant. “That mormon boy is being hyper religious and melodramatic again”.

Yes, I am. And I have no regrets. So great and exceeding was Alma the Younger’s joy when he was released from the bonds he had held for so long. I feel some small part of that now.

I CAN FEEL AGAIN! Emotions course through me like a river of rapids. Joyous day! I CAN FEEL!

All the world is waiting for the Son. May He come soon.

I testify that addictions are a form of physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual bondage, and that if you struggle with them, you can be freed from them. But only through the power and grace of Jesus Christ, through which all men are made whole.

And I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, the Son of God, amen.

[Maren]

DAY 35!!!!!!!!!!!!! AH! Okay, now really, you can’t lose now. I’d be so sad if we had to start over with being enthusiastic about single digit numbers again. (also, I’ve been praying for you. And you’re gonna beat this. Soon.)

YEAHHHH!!! Heck no I am NOT starting over. I am done. I do not want this addiction. I do not need it. I will not feel lost without it. I will be FREE. FREE FROM THIS! FREE FROM ALL THOSE STUPID FEELINGS OF GUILT. FREE FROM THE PAIN OF WONDERING IF I WILL EVER BE CLEAN AGAIN. FREE TO BE WORTHY. Free at last.

And now I am crying AND SALT HURTS OWWW.

Yeah. I will win.